I just wanted to post an update to say, I am indeed still alive. I survived Paris but I'm really not keen on talking about it. Some of it was fun, some of it wasn't but we've been there and got the t-shirt, or well the keyrings and condoms actually.
Moving on. Whilst I was away, people I know seemed to pass certain rights of passage. A couple of friends got married, some even had babies and others simply got a job or graduated and whilst I am happy for them, I can't help but feel a little left behind.
Now I am not saying that I want to get married, have kids and get a job because honestly, I don't. I also think it's kind of ironic that we are in one of the worst recessions ever, yet people are still getting jobs and spending money like there's no tomorrow (good on them though!).
I have never said that I am anything less than weird/abnormal/whatever else and when it comes to jobs, I really am no different. I've had my fair share of tribulations when it comes to work, I had a paper job, I worked in a chippy, I worked in a spar and I hated every single one of them.
People continue to tell me though, that it's the people who make the job. The people at all of those jobs I've had have been lovely and I still talk to some of them to this day and yet I still hated those jobs, so no, it's not the people, at least not for me.
If I'm honest, I guess those jobs are mundane, ones taken because the alternative is to survive on chick peas and porridage like big brother contestants for the rest of your life. Getting a job at a spar, at least brings in that small bit of cash every month allowing you to be rich in food and general life things.
For me though, it's not enough. I have this need to do something amazing with my life, like I mentioned in my Post Secret post. I want to do something that inspires people, that lets them get to know themselves in a way that they never would have before, it's just figuring out a way to do that, something original and something that will earn money. I know that it's not easy, being only 19 and still at University, so the likelihood of achieving something that big at this age isn't very high. Yet, I still feel the need to try, to think of things that seem strange and indifferent, to test them out and see how well it works and sure it's not earning me any cash, or getting me anywhere fast, but I would rather spend my time doing something that means something to me than working long and tiring shifts just for a bit of money which Ill spend on something ridiculous anyway.
However, this is not for a lack of trying. I surf recruitment websites everyday, looking for something that appeals to me, so that I can indeed earn that bit of cash to survive on. People will say, just take a job, it doesn't have to be one that appeals to you. I'm sorry but it does, I need to at least want to do something of the sort or I'll end up negative all the time and what is the point in doing something that makes you unhappy and doing it deliberately? There's just no sense in that.
For a long time now, I have spent my summers volunteering at a local summer scheme. It is run in my local community centre, which I've been attending since I was a toddler myself, it's where I've grown up and where I watch others grow up and sure, since it's voluntary I don't get paid. But the work is not hard and actually kind of enjoyable and I think my summer would feel a little lost without it. This summer is no different, from the 6th July for 4-5 weeks I'll be spending my days looking after littl'uns and traipsing about the country and though I might complain at the time, I look back on it fondly. Not to mention, it looks good on my CV.
I didn't really have a point with this whole story, I just needed to get it off my chest. Some of you might work 9-5 in a mundane job and I hope I haven't offended you, but to top it all off, there's a quote that goes as such:
Moving on. Whilst I was away, people I know seemed to pass certain rights of passage. A couple of friends got married, some even had babies and others simply got a job or graduated and whilst I am happy for them, I can't help but feel a little left behind.
Now I am not saying that I want to get married, have kids and get a job because honestly, I don't. I also think it's kind of ironic that we are in one of the worst recessions ever, yet people are still getting jobs and spending money like there's no tomorrow (good on them though!).
I have never said that I am anything less than weird/abnormal/whatever else and when it comes to jobs, I really am no different. I've had my fair share of tribulations when it comes to work, I had a paper job, I worked in a chippy, I worked in a spar and I hated every single one of them.
People continue to tell me though, that it's the people who make the job. The people at all of those jobs I've had have been lovely and I still talk to some of them to this day and yet I still hated those jobs, so no, it's not the people, at least not for me.
If I'm honest, I guess those jobs are mundane, ones taken because the alternative is to survive on chick peas and porridage like big brother contestants for the rest of your life. Getting a job at a spar, at least brings in that small bit of cash every month allowing you to be rich in food and general life things.
For me though, it's not enough. I have this need to do something amazing with my life, like I mentioned in my Post Secret post. I want to do something that inspires people, that lets them get to know themselves in a way that they never would have before, it's just figuring out a way to do that, something original and something that will earn money. I know that it's not easy, being only 19 and still at University, so the likelihood of achieving something that big at this age isn't very high. Yet, I still feel the need to try, to think of things that seem strange and indifferent, to test them out and see how well it works and sure it's not earning me any cash, or getting me anywhere fast, but I would rather spend my time doing something that means something to me than working long and tiring shifts just for a bit of money which Ill spend on something ridiculous anyway.
However, this is not for a lack of trying. I surf recruitment websites everyday, looking for something that appeals to me, so that I can indeed earn that bit of cash to survive on. People will say, just take a job, it doesn't have to be one that appeals to you. I'm sorry but it does, I need to at least want to do something of the sort or I'll end up negative all the time and what is the point in doing something that makes you unhappy and doing it deliberately? There's just no sense in that.
For a long time now, I have spent my summers volunteering at a local summer scheme. It is run in my local community centre, which I've been attending since I was a toddler myself, it's where I've grown up and where I watch others grow up and sure, since it's voluntary I don't get paid. But the work is not hard and actually kind of enjoyable and I think my summer would feel a little lost without it. This summer is no different, from the 6th July for 4-5 weeks I'll be spending my days looking after littl'uns and traipsing about the country and though I might complain at the time, I look back on it fondly. Not to mention, it looks good on my CV.
I didn't really have a point with this whole story, I just needed to get it off my chest. Some of you might work 9-5 in a mundane job and I hope I haven't offended you, but to top it all off, there's a quote that goes as such:
"Find a job you love and you'll never work a day in your life."
Confucius
And that my friends, is the kind of job that we all need.
